It's easy to confuse Self Care with Selfishness. I know I struggled with this for a really long time. What good was I doing by spending time taking care of myself when I could have been taking care of others? How could I justify going to sleep when it told a friend I loved her when I stayed up with her? Why should I gain when in order for me to be okay, I needed to deprive someone else of the care I could give them? Shouldn't I be able to be taken care of by others to the extent that I need?
The problem: I am not capable of loving others to the fullest extent when I am not taking care of myself.
If I'm trying to love a friend by spending time with them but would rather be off in a quiet corner because I'm an introvert and need space in order to function, I'm not giving that friend my full attention and neither of us will be getting what we actually need from the situation. It is not selfish to take care of yourself so you can love others.
Running on empty does no one any favors.
I'm reminded of a passage from 1 Kings 19, when Elijah is fleeing for his life from Jezebel. He finds a bush in the desert and lies down under it, exhausted from his journey and the work he's been doing. He didn't prepare for this journey. In many ways, he'd hoped he just die out there in the desert. An angel came to him, woke him from his sleep, and said, "Arise and eat." Elijah gets up, eats, and goes back to sleep. A second time the angel wakes him, and tells him to eat, "for the journey is too great for [him]." After that, he went "in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights" (1 Kings 19:4-8).
Elijah wasn't taking care of himself, so much that God sent an angel to make sure that he was taken care of. Left to his own devices, continuing at the pace he was going at, even with great success (see 1 Kings 18), Elijah was exhausted.
You will not be able to continue in the ministry God has called you to if you do not take care of yourself. God created you with specific needs, individual to those around you. Those needs change daily, and it's extremely important to tune into those needs on a day to day basis.
The world says that those who push hardest and fastest get success and joy. But what good is that success and joy if you are too exhausted when you reach it to enjoy it? It's like going on vacation to an extremely fun location with surfing and zip-lines and hiking but arriving there and realizing all you have energy for is sleeping in the hotel.
Take care of yourself. Let others take care of you. Care for others. Encourage others to care for themselves. Only then will you be able to serve in the ministry God has called you to at your fullest capacity. Do your best to not be half a cup of water for a thirsty runner. Quench their thirst by being full to the brim.
J. J. Hanna is a writer and reader who loves God and wants to help encourage others with what she knows and what she's learning. Answer her questions with a quick note and connect with her on social media. She's excited to hear from you!
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